Celebrating Solitude: The Unspoken Blessings of Singleness

It’s common to perceive singleness as a kind of relationship limbo, an unwanted gift no one specifically requested. However, this view is far from the truth. Singleness is not an affliction or a consolation prize; it is a distinctive stage of life, rich with unique opportunities and blessings. And this is coming from a person who still cherishes the hope of getting married someday. It is crucial to recognize the value of our unmarried years and learn how to appreciate them fully. So, what steps can we take to live this period of life well?

1. Unwrap Your Gift

According to Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone”. However, the Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians, proposed a different view. He claimed that for the unmarried and widows, it’s good to remain as he is – single (1 Corinthians 7:8). In the new covenant community, Paul didn’t perceive being unmarried as a curse but a blessing. He even wished everyone could experience this unique gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:7).

If you are single and yearning for marriage, remember that God has not deserted you. You are not trapped in an indefinite interim between celibacy and marriage. God has a perfect, delightful plan for you right here, right now. As James reminds us, every good and perfect gift, including your current singleness, is from above (James 1:17).

2. Discover the Unseen Privileges

Singleness isn’t just a state to be endured; it’s a gift with unique advantages. These are blessings that you might not fully experience once you enter into a marriage covenant. Apostle Paul encapsulated these benefits as “undivided devotion” (1 Corinthians 7:32–35).

Reflecting on the perks of singleness, I see at least three significant advantages:

  • Focus: Singleness allows for undivided attention to Jesus. While honoring Christ in marriage is indeed possible, singles can devote themselves to Him with fewer distractions. Singles can wholly concentrate on their spiritual growth, minister to others without the typical familial interruptions, enjoy fellowship without time restrictions, and make future decisions primarily for the gospel good.
  • Flexibility: Singleness offers unique freedom in decision-making. While a married person might frequently need to check with their spouse before making commitments, singles can generally say yes more frequently. Whether it’s a late-night Bible study, emergency babysitting, or seizing risky opportunities for God’s glory, singles possess the capacity to adapt for the kingdom’s sake.
  • Freedom: Singles have the freedom to live with fewer worries (1 Corinthians 7:32). Singleness enables a mobility that marriage, with its routine and obligations, may not allow. However, this is not to undermine the value of marriage. Apostle Paul himself extolled the virtues of both singleness and marriage. He showed us how both states provide distinct opportunities for serving God.

3. Desire, but Remain Content

It’s okay to desire marriage while being content in your singleness. Having desires doesn’t equate to discontentment. You can desire to be fed while still being content in hunger, and you can desire marriage while still finding contentment in your season of singleness. As the scripture says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). So, cherish your singleness and continue your quest for a spouse!

Furthermore, you can still find contentment in singleness while dealing with its challenges. Just as marital issues don’t automatically imply discontentment, singleness also comes with its difficulties. But remember, Christ can handle your joys and your disappointments. You can be candid about the struggles of singleness while still placing your trust in Christ in all circumstances (Philippians 4:12).

4. Pledge Yourself to a Church Family

Jesus made a remarkable promise in Mark 10:29–31 – anyone who leaves family or lands for His sake and the gospels will receive a hundredfold in return. This bountiful family is none other than the church. As part of the church, we promise to support each other in love, rejoicing, praying, aiding, and restoring one another. These commitments sound similar to marriage vows, don’t they? A single-life does not have to be a solitary life. The most practical ways to demonstrate your undivided devotion to Christ are through love for His church (John 13:34–35).

Not Alone, but Single

Participating in the local church allows me to serve and receive help in ways that would be impossible if I were on my own. I can babysit, visit the elderly, and serve in ways that might be difficult for other church members. While married Christians might need to invest most of their energy into their biological families, I get to invest in my spiritual family.

Singleness, just like every other phase of life, comes with its unique joys, challenges, and opportunities. It is an investment in the present that echoes our hope of future glory when we’ll neither marry nor be given in marriage (Matthew 22:30) because we’ll behold our Bridegroom face to face. And when we do, we’ll realize that all our experiences, including singleness, were worth the journey.