Before You Sign the Papers: Five Soul-Searching Queries to Ponder Before Divorce

When walking through the turbulent waters of a failing marriage, it’s important for every Christian to pause and reflect upon certain fundamental questions before considering the path of divorce. As followers of Christ, we need to navigate these rough seas with the teachings of the Bible as our compass.

The first, and perhaps the most crucial question, is “Do I have Biblical Grounds?” Jesus imparted a clear teaching on this matter. Divorce is permissible in a narrow set of circumstances. If infidelity is at play, how did it come to light? Was it confessed or discovered? Has forgiveness been sought? Are the actions repetitive with no apparent remorse or repentance?

Secondly, have you thought about the potential impact on your children? What lessons about marriage will they glean from your decision? Will they view divorce as an easy exit when they inevitably face marital challenges of their own? What about the financial implications for your family? Are you prepared to shoulder the responsibilities of single parenthood? Children often bear the brunt of divorce’s pain, regardless of their outward expression of resilience.

The third question is, “Have You Sought Marital Counseling?” Have both you and your spouse made a sincere attempt to seek spiritual guidance together? Or is the desire for divorce one-sided? Perhaps revisiting the spark that initially ignited your relationship, through something like a second honeymoon, may reignite the flame. Efforts to save your marriage may even require you to seek counseling independently.

The fourth query to reflect upon is, “Have You Done Everything in Your Power to Save This Marriage?” The power of prayer and counseling cannot be underestimated. As Paul shared in 1 Corinthians 7:16, living with an unsaved spouse is challenging, but our role as a husband or wife may be instrumental in their salvation. Emulating the love Christ has for the church could play a significant role in reconciliation.

Lastly, it’s crucial to introspect, asking yourself, “Have I Thought of My Own Role in the Marital Difficulties?” It’s all too easy to point fingers when conflict arises, but taking responsibility for our own actions is fundamental. How have your actions or inactions contributed to the strained marital dynamic? Remember, while we cannot control our spouse’s actions and attitude, we have complete control over our own.

In conclusion, it’s crucial to discern whether your desires lie in a better life or merely a better marriage. Are you carrying unrealistic expectations? Are you providing your spouse with unconditional love, or is your love contingent on their behavior? God’s love for us remains unwavering, even when we are undeserving. Let this divine love guide your actions, remembering that the essence of marriage lies not in how much you receive, but in how much you give.