In the sacred bond of marriage, words carry immense weight. The Book of Proverbs teaches us that the tongue has the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). While the moments we share with our spouse are filled with expressions of love, care, and understanding, there are certain phrases that can unintentionally cast shadows on this bond. Here are some phrases we might reconsider using in our marriages:
1. “You Never/You Always”: Broad statements like “you always forget” or “you never listen” can be misleading. While it might feel that way sometimes, absolute terms can box your spouse into a negative narrative. Instead, consider phrasing it as a question, such as, “Why do you feel we often miss doing this?” Engaging in a conversation rather than laying blame can open doors to understanding.
2. “I Wish I’d Never Married You”: Expressing regret over the marital union can deeply wound your spouse’s heart. Remember the love, commitment, and faith that brought you two together. Address the core issues causing such feelings rather than voicing hurtful sentiments.
3. “I Can’t Ever Forgive You for That”: As followers of Christ, we are called to forgive as He forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). While it’s natural to feel hurt, expressing an eternal inability to forgive can be detrimental. Instead, share your struggle: “It’s tough for me to move past this, but I’m trying.”
4. “Whatever!”: Though it might seem harmless, this word can communicate indifference and lack of concern. Strive for understanding and patience even in disagreements.
5. “I Really Don’t Care What You Say”: This phrase can shut down communication lines. Every sentiment shared by your spouse deserves respect, even if you disagree. Instead, aim for understanding and say, “Let’s discuss this further.”
6. “I Wish You Were More Like [Someone Else]”: Such comparisons can diminish the unique value of your spouse. Embrace and cherish the individual qualities that make your partner special.
In conclusion, while it’s important to recognize phrases that can hurt, it’s equally vital to remember words that heal: “I’m sorry,” “I love you,” and “Please forgive me.” Let’s strive to make our marriages a haven of love, patience, and understanding, reflecting the love of Christ.