The Grace of Being Unappointed

Milestones come with a strange weight. One July, I looked back and realized I had walked three decades of ministry alongside John Piper decades that shaped the ministry we now call Desiring God. And yet, with that milestone came an odd surprise: I felt as though God was already dis‑appointing me from portions of that work.

By “disappointment,” I don’t mean failure or regret, though I’ve had those. I mean the sense that the roles God once assigned me are shifting and that, in time, some will be taken from me. For every calling God appoints, it seems He also appoints a time to release.

How we handle those transitions reveals more about our character, our love for Christ, and our faithfulness than how we begin might. Over the years, I’ve learned that good endings are not accidental. We must prepare, steward well, and trust God even when the responsibilities we once held are reassigned.

Here are four core values Scripture has helped me carry in seasons when God removes what He once gave.

1. Love Jesus’s increase supremely

I have often turned to John the Baptist as a mentor in seasons of change. His words still echo. “He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30

John didn’t resent that people left him to follow Christ. He rejoiced. His love was for Jesus’s glory, not for his own platform. That posture frees a leader when their role is eclipsed, because the mission isn’t about me it’s about Him.

If our joy is tied to a title, task, or influence, then when those are stripped, we risk despair. But if our joy is anchored in seeing Jesus magnified, then even our departure can be an offering.

2. View yourself as a steward, not an owner

The apostle Paul regularly describes his role as steward of the gospel (1 Corinthians 4:1–2). A steward is entrusted, not possessed; accountable, not autonomous.

That mindset helps guard pride in success and bitterness in transitions. God gives us roles and He takes them up again. The stewardship posture helps us ask: “Did I handle it faithfully? Did I invest in others? Did I bow to God’s Lordship, not mine?”

Even as leadership fades, we remain faithful servants called to work for joy in others (2 Corinthians 1:24).

3. Watch for and support your successor

Transition is rarely successful when a leader sees future successors as threats rather than partners. Contrast Saul’s fear of David with Jonathan’s humility: Jonathan embraced David’s calling and strengthened his hand (1 Samuel 23:16–18). That kind of transition honors God’s sovereignty.

When it became clear Desiring God needed a new leader, I worked with the board and our team to prepare a path for Scott Anderson to succeed me. We didn’t prove a point; we equipped a future. I aimed to champion, train, defend, and love him to invite his leadership, not resent it.

A true leader’s last gift is not authority, but a flourishing team after they step aside.

4. Love them to the end

Jesus “loved them to the end” (John 13:1) even when betrayal and failure loomed. He never withdrew His care or affection. That same spirit is essential in transitions.

Whatever your next role (or absence), lead with compassion, integrity, and gratitude. Speak truth, defend the mission, preserve unity. Never treat those who remain as “left behind.” You may step back, but your commitment does not shrink.

A Joyful Aftertaste

How do I feel now, years after that transition? More joyful than I thought possible. I see in it a foretaste of heaven, where every saint will rejoice seeing Jesus increase without envy, without regret.

I did not execute these transitions perfectly. I stumbled. I felt pain. But I learned to pray, “Lord, help me relinquish well.” And by His grace, what remains teaching, mentoring, serving is a different calling, no less full of life.

If you are entrusted with something now, lead knowing it may not be yours forever. If you anticipate the day of handing off, steward today well. If you are in a season after a handoff, cling to Jesus and rejoice in what He is doing in you and through others.

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