What “As Yourself” Really Means

After preaching on Jesus’ command, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27), some have wondered how this fits with a Gospel that exposes human pride and calls us to humble dependence on Christ. It’s a fair and thoughtful question especially in a culture saturated with messages about self‑esteem and self‑fulfillment.

To answer it well, let’s look closely at what Jesus actually teaches, what he doesn’t teach, and why his words are far more radical than many suppose.

1. Jesus Isn’t Commanding Self‑Love He’s Assuming Natural Self‑Care

It’s common today to read Jesus’ words as a command to learn self‑love, as if loving ourselves is something we must first cultivate before we can love others. But Jesus doesn’t teach that.

Jesus does not command self‑love in the sense of “build up your self‑esteem.” Instead, he assumes something every human being naturally does: we inherently seek our own well‑being.

When Jesus says “love your neighbor as yourself,” he means: “Love others the way you already seek to care for yourself.” He takes for granted that we take steps to preserve our lives, meet our needs, and avoid harm even if unknowingly distorted by sin.

This is not Jesus teaching narcissism under another name. He’s using an undeniable fact of human existence as the standard.

2. Self‑Love Isn’t Self‑Esteem It’s Self‑Care

What do you do when you’re hungry? You eat. When you’re weary? You rest. When sick? You seek healing. Even those who struggle with self‑esteem still act out of a basic drive toward happiness, comfort, and flourishing.

The apostle Paul illustrates this in Ephesians 5:28 when he says:

“Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it…”

Paul does not define love here in terms of self‑esteem or self‑admiration. He defines it in terms of nourishing and cherishing meeting needs, protecting well‑being, caring for health.

That basic self‑care feeding, sheltering, seeking joy, avoiding pain is universal. We seek our own good by nature. That’s the love Jesus presumes.

3. You Don’t Have to Learn Self‑Esteem to Love Others

Because self‑love in Scripture means something far simpler and more instinctive caring for one’s own well‑being there is no textual basis for the modern notion that we must first learn to esteem ourselves before we can love others.

Self‑esteem can be taught, nurtured, or damaged. But self‑care the drive toward well‑being is universal. It doesn’t require therapy or affirmation; it requires hope.

The real call of Jesus’ command is not self‑esteem, but sympathy.

4. The Radical Call to Concern for Others

When Jesus says, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” he places the well‑being of others on the same level as your own. The call isn’t: “Don’t love yourself.” It is: “Don’t love others less than yourself.”

This is where the command becomes stunningly demanding.

You naturally care about your hunger so care about alleviating others’ hunger with comparable zeal.

You naturally want your suffering relieved so desire others’ suffering to be relieved with the same earnestness.

This is not easy. It is, in fact, devastating in its implications because it cuts across every instinct of self‑centred living.

5. The Golden Rule Reframed

This understanding of Jesus’ command aligns perfectly with the Golden Rule:

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them” (Matthew 7:12).

Both teach the same truth measure your love for others by the genuine care you naturally have for yourself.

If you want relief when you’re sick help the sick.

If you want sustenance when hungry feed the hungry.

If you want comfort when afraid reassure the terrified.

These aren’t suggestions; they are the ordinary outworking of love.

6. Where the Gospel of Self‑Esteem Falls Short

The modern “gospel of self‑esteem” often says: you must feel good about yourself in order to love others well. But Scripture doesn’t require you to feel worthy, important, or admirable. All of us share Isaiah’s honest confession:

“Fear not, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel!” Isaiah 41:14

We are weak, frail, and morally broken. Yet God does not condemn the self‑concern that arises from our instinct to live. Instead, he calls us to take that instinct and redirect it outward in love.

Loving our neighbor as ourselves does not require self‑esteem it requires compassion.

7. Christ Is the True Model of Love

Finally, the greatest answer to how we can love others as ourselves is found in Christ.

Jesus himself exemplified perfect love for others not by first building up self‑esteem or becoming preoccupied with his own worth but by laying down his life for us:

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

Christ did not cling to his rights, his comfort, or his glory. He gave himself for us even while we were weak, sinful, and unsure.

That is the love Jesus calls us to a love born not of self‑adoration, but of grace received and grace extended.

A Final Word

So when Jesus says “love your neighbor as yourself,” he is not teaching self‑obsession or a psychology of self‑esteem. He is holding up a mirror not of self‑admiration, but of self‑care and saying. Extend the same concern you naturally have for your own well‑being to the well‑being of others.

You don’t need a boosted self‑image to obey this. You need a heart shaped by grace, opened by Christ, and molded by his love.

May our lives reflect not a gospel of self‑esteem, but a gospel of self‑giving just as Christ first loved us.

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