Less Attachment, More Love

Marriage is one of the greatest blessings from God, but it can easily become an idol if we elevate our spouse above our love for Christ. The Bible warns us against this danger, teaching us to love God supremely.

The Danger of Idolizing Marriage

Jesus' call in Luke 14:26 to "hate" one's spouse is not about actual hatred but about priority. The idea is that our love for God should be so supreme that even the highest love for our spouse pales in comparison. This is a lesson for all Christian husbands: loving Christ more deeply enables us to love our wives rightly.

When we make our spouse the center of our lives, we run the risk of turning them into an idol. This misplaced love leads us away from obedience to Christ. Instead of elevating Christ in our homes, we can become fixated on our partner, demanding from them what only God can provide—ultimate fulfillment and joy.

Love Her More By Loving God Most

True love for our spouse grows when we love Christ more than anything. Ephesians 5:25 teaches husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church, which means a sacrificial love rooted in the love of God. Christ's love for His bride, the church, was never idolatrous or competing with His love for the Father. Rather, it was in perfect harmony. In the same way, our love for our spouse should flow from our love for Christ, which puts Him first in all things.

Keeping Priorities Straight

In relationships, it’s easy to be swayed by emotions or desires, but keeping God first will guard our hearts from turning our love for our spouse into idolatry. It is through honoring God’s commandments and seeking His guidance that we learn to love our spouse with a healthier, purer love.

Recognizing this priority doesn’t diminish the importance of marriage; it strengthens it. When we love Christ most, we learn to love our spouse better—without expecting them to fulfill the role only God can play in our lives.

A Marriage Aligned with God’s Will

Living in this kind of love requires daily intentionality. Spend time in prayer, asking for the wisdom to balance your love for your spouse and your commitment to Christ. Keep scripture central in your marriage and encourage one another in your walk with God.

By submitting to God's will, we ensure that our marriage reflects His glory rather than our personal desires. Ultimately, the goal is not to love your spouse less, but to love her more by keeping Christ at the center of your life and relationship.

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