Is Persuasion Still Possible for You

Who is it that makes your life difficult? Maybe it’s a spouse, coworker, or someone at church. C.S. Lewis, in his essay “The Trouble with ‘X,’” talks about this challenging person. We’ve all encountered someone like “X” that individual who refuses to listen, no matter how rationally or kindly you try to explain things. As Lewis writes, we are often told, “All you’ve got to do is make them see things in the right light.” But inside, we sigh and think, “They don’t know ‘X.’”

Lewis captures the frustration many of us have experienced when dealing with stubborn individuals. We’ve tried to reason with them countless times or simply given up because we know it’s pointless. Yet, while we can clearly see the problem with “X,” the Bible challenges us to examine ourselves: Are we open to reason? Or are we someone else’s “X”?

What Godly Wisdom Looks Like

James 3:17 gives us a powerful picture of what true wisdom looks like. It’s not just about being intellectually smart or having all the answers. Instead, James describes a type of wisdom that comes directly from God, and it’s characterized by humility and gentleness. This heavenly wisdom is "pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere."

Being open to reason is an essential part of this wisdom. The Greek word used here suggests a person who is willing to yield, someone who is approachable and teachable. Other translations of this verse call it being “easy to be entreated” (KJV) or “willing to yield” (NKJV). This quality doesn’t mean we should be pushed around or lack conviction. Instead, it speaks to a heart that listens, learns, and is open to correction.

The Perils of Being Closed Off

When we are closed off to reason, we become like "X," the person who can't be taught anything. Proverbs 18:2 says, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” This kind of closed-mindedness doesn’t just make us stubborn it alienates us from others. Friendships become strained, marriages suffer, and workplaces become breeding grounds for conflict.

In fact, research shows that stubborn people tend to experience more loneliness and broken relationships. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who are overly rigid in their beliefs often struggle to maintain long-term relationships, as they refuse to compromise or see things from another person’s perspective. The Bible affirms this reality. Proverbs 25:24 reminds us that it’s “better to live in a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Whether it’s a spouse, a friend, or a coworker, being someone who is unapproachable or hard-hearted leads to isolation.

Just as Nabal in 1 Samuel 25 was described as a “worthless man” who wouldn’t listen to anyone, people who are closed off to reason often find themselves cut off from others. His wife Abigail had to step in to save the day, but Nabal was too proud to acknowledge her wisdom. Ultimately, being unreasonable not only destroys relationships but hinders spiritual growth.

Why We Need Others

God designed us to need one another’s input. We can’t grow in wisdom alone. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” Being open to reason means we allow ourselves to receive life-giving correction, and more than that, it allows us to enjoy the blessing of companionship.

In a world where echo chambers abound, it’s easy to find ourselves only listening to people who agree with us. Social media algorithms push content that reinforces our opinions, making it even harder to be open to reason. But more information doesn’t always lead to more wisdom. The Bible says that “the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19). True wisdom is found in being humble enough to admit we don’t have all the answers and willing enough to hear others out.

The Freedom in Yielding

Being open to reason begins with the humble acknowledgment that we are not God. Only God has perfect wisdom. The rest of us have room to grow. We need the humility to say, “I’m sorry,” or “Let’s try it your way.” It means we’re not always insisting on getting the last word, even in small matters.

James 1:19 urges us to “be quick to hear, slow to speak.” When was the last time you listened to both sides of an issue before forming an opinion? Do you ask yourself, “Do I have enough knowledge to be this dogmatic about this topic?” Wisdom doesn’t mean we should be unstable in our convictions, but it does mean recognizing when it’s appropriate to yield.

For example, some issues like the core truths of the Gospel are worth standing firm on. But in other areas, like preferences or opinions, we must learn to distinguish between what is truly essential and what can be let go. A good rule of thumb comes from Romans 14:19: “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

Applying Wisdom to Daily Life

Wisdom doesn’t only involve yielding to well-made arguments. It also involves being flexible with innocent requests from friends and family. Wisdom, much like love, “does not insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5). So, ask yourself, “How big of a deal is it to pick the family movie tonight?” or “Am I willing to give in when my child asks for extra playtime?”

Douglas Moo, in his commentary on James, points out that being open to reason includes a “willing deference to others when unalterable theological or moral principles are not involved.” Sometimes, wisdom is simply the ability to put aside our preferences for the sake of peace and love.

In those moments, we must ask ourselves, “How often do I yield to my spouse’s opinion on small matters?” or “When was the last time I allowed myself to be persuaded without defensiveness?”

A Challenge for Personal Growth

If you’re brave enough, ask a close friend or family member how much you remind them of “X” from Lewis’s essay. Let their answer guide your self-reflection. We can all grow in this area, and the good news is that Christ meets us in our weaknesses.

When we open ourselves to the wisdom that comes from above, we not only grow closer to God, but we also become better spouses, friends, and coworkers. And who knows? You might just find that in being open to reason, your relationships become healthier and more fulfilling than ever before.

Remember, Godly wisdom isn’t just about knowing the right things it’s about being the kind of person who listens, learns, and yields in love. May we all seek that wisdom in our daily lives.

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