More Young Christians Are Choosing Singleness on Purpose

Not long ago, being a single Christian in your twenties meant answering the same question over and over again: “So, are you seeing anyone?” It was assumed that college was the launchpad to your happily-ever-after, and if you made it to 25 without a ring, something must have gone wrong.

Not anymore.

A growing number of young believers are flipping the script and choosing intentional singleness not because no one asked them out, but because they’re discovering that the single life can be deeply purposeful and richly spiritual.

According to Barna’s “Restoring Relationships” study, 68% of practicing Christian young adults are single and they’re not anxiously scrolling through dating apps in desperation. Many are living fully, serving passionately, and embracing singleness not as a problem to be fixed, but as a path to be followed.

A New Narrative of Singleness

This cultural shift isn’t confined to the church. A 2020 Pew Research Center survey found that 54% of Americans believe marriage isn’t necessary for a fulfilling life. While culture pushes independence, Christian singles are leaning into something even deeper: dependence on God and a life ordered around His kingdom, not a relationship status.

The apostle Paul framed it perfectly in 1 Corinthians 7. Singleness, he said, isn’t a consolation prize it’s a spiritual advantage. Free from the concerns of family life, singles can give undivided devotion to the Lord. John Stott, a lifelong single and one of the 20th century’s most respected theologians, called singleness a vocation. “God is faithful in supporting those he calls,” he wrote, emphasizing that the single life is not a second-best calling but a sacred one.

Redefining Adulthood in the Church

Still, while Scripture affirms the value of singleness, the modern church has often lagged behind. Many singles report feeling like they’re in a spiritual waiting room stuck between youth groups and married couples' ministries, shuffled into awkward social events or overlooked entirely.

Dr. Debra Fileta, Christian counselor and author of Choosing Marriage, sees the difference up close: “A lot of young adults are no longer seeing marriage as the only way to ‘arrive’ spiritually or socially,” she says. “They’re giving themselves permission to grow, heal, and build lives rooted in purpose not just partnership.”

Rosaria Butterfield puts it even more bluntly “The Church must become the new family promised by Christ for those who forsake their former loyalties and allegiances to follow Him.”

If singleness is a calling, the church must be the community that honors it not with pity, but with praise. That means no more “when you get married…” sermon references that leave singles out of the picture. It means valuing people as they are, not for who they might marry.

Making Room for Purpose

For today’s single Christians, singleness isn’t an obstacle to faith it’s often the very thing that enables it. Whether it’s missions, ministry, mentoring, or meaningful work in their communities, many are embracing the freedom of singleness to say yes to things that would be harder or impossible if they were married.

They’re going to seminary, launching nonprofits, building deep, life-giving friendships, and discipling the next generation. In fact, the Eido Research study found that 63% of single women in church hadn’t even been on a date with a fellow church member in the past two years. But many aren’t waiting around. They’re thriving, on mission, and full of vision for what God is doing now.

And they’re not rejecting marriage. Many are open to it, should it come. But they refuse to treat it like a spiritual finish line. They’re not putting their lives or their joy on hold while they wait.

A Whole Life, Not a Half One

The Bible never presents marriage as the ultimate Christian goal. Jesus, the Savior of the world, never married. Paul, the apostle who planted countless churches, was single and wished more people would stay that way for the sake of the gospel.

Choosing singleness today, especially in a culture that idolizes romance, is a countercultural act of faith. It’s a declaration that Jesus is enough. That your life is already whole. That your worth isn’t tied to a wedding date but to a cross and an empty tomb.

This is more than lifestyle preference. It’s spiritual maturity. And the church must recognize it as such. If we’re serious about calling people to bold, surrendered lives of faith, we must honor those who are living it out no plus-one required.

So to the young Christian who’s choosing singleness on purpose: you’re not on pause. You’re not missing out. You’re building something beautiful. You’re running your race with focus, passion, and purpose. And the Church and the world needs what you bring.

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