Are We Overthinking Our Calling?

You’ve been told your life has a calling not just meaning or direction, but a divine assignment. The thing you were born to do. The path God crafted just for you.

But what if you're 23 and still have no clue what that is?

You’ve prayed, journaled, taken spiritual gift tests, listened to sermons, switched majors, fasted on retreat weekends and still, nothing. Maybe you chose something and now you're second-guessing it. Or maybe you never heard that elusive “God whisper” at all.

For many Christians today, calling feels less like a holy gift and more like a high-stakes guessing game. And it’s exhausting.

Karen Yates, spiritual director and author, puts it bluntly “The problem I see with that overused, overemphasized, overpreached word ‘calling’ is that many of us have limited the definition of ‘calling’ to a profession, a career or a role.” In that model, calling is about what you do not who you are.

And that narrow view carries a heavy cost.

Because what happens when your job ends? Or your dream fizzles? What happens when you pivot careers, lose your spouse, grow old, or your child moves out and you're left staring at a quiet house, wondering who you are now?

In the modern Christian imagination, calling is often something to be found. A hidden treasure. A puzzle to solve. But Scripture rarely presents calling that way. More often, calling refers to the shape of our life not the role we play. It's about being conformed to Christ, not about curating a career.

That distinction is crucial.

When calling is defined only as “the one thing you were born to do,” it becomes a spiritual trap. You’re either winning or failing. You’re either living in your purpose or falling behind. And when you can’t find that one thing or when you thought you did and it fell apart you start to question your own faith.

Yates challenges this pressure: “For some of us, no matter how long we wait or how hard we search, the elusive ‘calling’ doesn’t come. We look upon people living out their calling with envy what’s wrong with us that we don’t know what we’re supposed to do with our lives?”

This anxiety isn’t just internal. It’s cultural. In the age of influencers and entrepreneurs, everyone’s branding their purpose, chasing their “passion,” and measuring their worth by impact. Even in Christian spaces, “kingdom work” can start sounding more like personal achievement than spiritual obedience.

But calling isn’t always glamorous. Sometimes it’s small. Sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s doing the right thing when no one’s looking and no one applauds. That isn’t a detour. That might be the center of it all.

We need a better theology of calling.

Not one rooted in success or clarity or the “sweet spot” of personal happiness, but one grounded in faithfulness. One that has room for transitions, silence, even confusion. One that doesn’t reduce your life with God to a job description.

Yates warns against the belief that calling will always feel great: “We have an expectation our calling is going to feel deliciously good like the buzzer beater at the end of the game to win it all… And anything short of worthwhileness must mean it is not what we are meant to do or be.”

But Scripture tells another story.

Moses doubted his calling. So did Jeremiah. So did Gideon. Even Paul lived through seasons of being hidden, sidelined, and unsure. What made their callings holy wasn’t that they knew exactly what to do it was that they walked with God wherever they were.

A 2023 Barna report found that nearly 60% of practicing Christians under 30 feel uncertain about their life’s purpose. That’s not a crisis of commitment. It’s a sign that we’ve often misunderstood what “calling” really means.

Your calling isn’t hiding from you. And God’s not withholding it until you crack some divine code.

You’re already living it when you’re showing up when you’re loving the hard-to-love people, when you’re telling the truth, when you’re being faithful in the unseen things.

Your calling may never come with a big moment of arrival. It might be more like a long walk of trust.

Yes, we can and should dream big. Yes, God gives gifts, passions, and assignments. But none of those are the ultimate destination. Jesus is. And every step taken with Him is part of your calling even if it feels small, slow, or confusing.

So instead of asking, “What is my calling?” maybe start asking, “Who am I becoming?”

Because calling isn’t a brand. It’s not a plan. It’s not a TED Talk testimony in the making. It’s a daily, often quiet, act of faith.

And if you're walking with Him, you're already in it.

Share this with a friend who's wrestling with their purpose, or subscribe to our newsletter for more wisdom on living a faithful, grounded life.