What Your Coffee Says About Your Theology

Coffee and theology might seem like an odd pairing, but according to a fun reflection on caffeine preferences, your go-to coffee order could reveal more about your beliefs than you realize. Whether you’re brewing French Press or grabbing a Pumpkin Spice Latte, here’s what your cup might say about your spiritual life.

French Press

Those who favor the French Press might appear trendy, but they are likely drawn to deep traditions. This choice reflects someone who has embraced the liturgical calendar and is possibly into reading theological classics like Kierkegaard. The method may be old-fashioned, but it’s also a sign of someone committed to the rich depths of their faith.

Iced Black Coffee

Calvinists, anyone? Drinking your coffee cold and black shows a no-nonsense approach to theology—embracing the "cold, hard truths" of predestination with no frills attached. For the iced coffee aficionado, their faith is about the essentials, stripped down to the bare bones.

Pumpkin Spice Latte

Seasonal and trendy, the PSL drinker might be more inclined to go with the flow of whatever is popular at the moment. Their faith journey could be more influenced by current trends rather than deep theological grounding. A little accountability might be recommended here!

Espresso

Strong and concentrated, the espresso lover likely embodies boldness in their faith. They might also enjoy powerful, short bursts of evangelism or street preaching, ready to make an impact in small but potent ways.

Mocha Frappuccino with Extra Whip

This indulgent drink is often linked to the prosperity gospel. Those who favor this sweet treat may enjoy the finer things in life, possibly interpreting Scripture in ways that align with abundance and blessings.

Decaf

In theological circles, ordering decaf might be seen as heretical. Why? Because who can face the trials of life without a little caffeine-fueled endurance?

These playful interpretations of coffee preferences offer a lighthearted way to think about how everyday choices can reflect deeper spiritual attitudes. While it’s all in good fun, it might just prompt some self-reflection the next time you order your favorite cup.

If this post made you smile, share it with a friend or subscribe to our newsletter for more fun takes on faith and culture.