Pursue the Girl You Desire

On March 27, 1525, Wolfgang Reissenbusch faced a crossroads. As a preceptor at the monastery of St. Anthony, he had pledged a celibate life. But with the winds of the Reformation sweeping through Europe, his perspective shifted. What was he to do? Naturally, he sought the counsel of Martin Luther.

Luther’s response was both fiery and practical:

One month later, Wolfgang married Anna Herzog. Not long after, on June 13, Luther himself followed his advice and married Katharina von Bora. Their boldness in marriage not only transformed their own lives but continues to inspire men today.

A Call to Boldness

The church is filled with faithful, godly women waiting for men to rise up. These women modern-day Abigails, Ruths, and Priscillas are ready to partner with men of God, to raise families, and to join a shared mission. Yet many remain single, not by choice, but because of delays rooted in immaturity, fear, or selfishness.

Men, let’s be honest: some of you are stuck. Whether due to laziness, overthinking, or the distractions of modern life, you’re stalling. Perpetual groomsmen, never the groom. But God calls you to something greater. Luther’s advice echoes down through the centuries: be bold.

Courage in Action

Boldness doesn’t mean recklessness. It means trusting God and taking action. For some, this might seem daunting, but consider the example of the author who flew halfway across the world after spending only a few hours with the woman who would become his wife. Why? Because he saw her heart for the gospel, witnessed her discipleship of others, and realized she embodied what he sought in a wife.

Boldness in pursuit of marriage requires three key elements:

1. A godly woman: Seek someone who loves the Lord and shares your mission.

2. A godly community: Surround yourself with wise men who encourage and guide you.

3. God’s Word: Allow Scripture to shape your understanding of marriage and manhood.

Marriage Is God’s Good Design

Marriage isn’t merely a cultural institution; it is part of God’s divine design. From Genesis, where God declares, “It is not good that man should be alone,” to Paul’s letters assuming marriage and fatherhood as normative, the Bible affirms that most men are called to this covenant.

Luther reminds us that our very nature points to marriage. He writes,

“Now, chastity is not in our power, as little as are God’s other wonders and graces. But we are all made for marriage, as our bodies show and as the Scriptures state in Genesis 2: ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.’”

Fighting Lust with Purpose

In a world drowning in pornography and sexual sin, marriage is one of God’s remedies for burning passion. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:9, “It is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Yet many men fail to connect their struggles with lust to their avoidance of marriage.

Instead of endlessly battling temptation with willpower alone, ask yourself: are you taking steps toward marriage? Are you preparing for the responsibility and joy of leading a family?

Stop Waiting, Start Pursuing

The call to pursue marriage isn’t just for your own good; it is part of living as the man God designed you to be. Luther put it bluntly:

“Whoever is ashamed of marriage is also ashamed of being a man or being thought a man, or else he thinks that he can make himself better than God made him.”

Men, it’s time to step up. Whether it’s asking a girl out, speaking to her father, or simply taking the first step toward godly leadership in your life, don’t delay. Marriage is a reflection of Christ’s love for His church, a profound mystery that glorifies God and fulfills His purpose for your life.

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