How Do You Pray for Someone Who Wants to Hurt You?

Jesus told his followers to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them (Matthew 5:43-44). Joe Carter, writing for The Gospel Coalition, says we have watered down the word enemy so much that the command has lost its shock. Today we use it for people who are rude to us. The Jews of Jesus' day had real enemies, from slavery in Egypt to the Roman occupation. Carter says telling them to pray for their enemies was like telling the Christians of Iraq to pray for ISIS.

So how do we do it? Carter offers three specific prayers. First, pray for their conversion. God can do for them what he did for us: give the gift of grace so they might be saved (Ephesians 2:8). Carter admits such conversions are unlikely and rare. Pray anyway. If we truly love our enemy, how could we not at least ask God on their behalf? We may feel like Jonah, who complained when God spared Nineveh (Jonah 4:2). But because God is gracious and compassionate, we should ask him to show our enemies the same grace he showed us.

Second, pray that the evil they do will be restrained. Carter says there is no contradiction between praying for an enemy's good and praying that his harmful actions be stopped. It is to their benefit as well as ours. Governments may need to use force to protect the innocent, and we may support the just use of force. But we must not rejoice when a wrongdoer suffers or dies (Proverbs 24:17).

Third, pray that they will receive God's justice. Carter puts this prayer last, a plea for those who will neither turn to God nor turn away from evil. He warns us to guard our motives. Praying for divine justice can become a way to dodge our duty to love. Paul tells us to leave vengeance to God and, in the meantime, to feed a hungry enemy and overcome evil with good (Romans 12:19-21).

Carter quotes John MacArthur, who said "we are not to be enemies of those who may be enemies to us." They may see us as their enemies, MacArthur explains, but we should see them as our neighbors. That is the heart of it. Tonight, name the person who has hurt you, or the group that hates the church. Pray the three prayers in order: turn them, restrain them, judge them. Keep it short, and keep it up.

Carter wrote with a particular kind of enemy in mind. His article at The Gospel Coalition is about praying for those who persecute Christians, and he names Islamic extremist groups such as ISIS and Al-Qaeda, who murder members of Christ's Bride. He says there are two main reasons we do not pray for the conversion of such people. The first is that we think it absurd that they would ever become Christians. The second, he admits, is that we are afraid they actually might.

Carter also reminds us where we started. We were once enemies of God ourselves, he writes, so we should be gracious and grateful that we are allowed to pray for our enemies now, secure in the knowledge that Jesus hears us. Carter is a contributing editor for The Gospel Coalition and an associate pastor at McLean Bible Church in Arlington, Virginia.

Scripture: Matthew 5:43-44, Ephesians 2:8, Jonah 4:2, Proverbs 24:17, Romans 12:19-21