How to Pursue Your Dreams Realistically

It’s easy to get swept up in the dream. Vision boards. Inspirational quotes. Colorful mugs that whisper, “Follow your heart, the universe will open doors.”

But what if that version of dreaming isn’t helping us?

What if it’s actually holding us back?

In our culture, “dream big” often means “ignore reality.” But as strange as it may sound, the road to your greatest dreams starts not in the clouds, but in the mirror.

Step One: Brutal Honesty

Before you take a single step forward, ask yourself. Where am I right now?

Not where you wish you were. Not where Instagram thinks you are. Not where your vision board says you’ll be. Where are you, really?

This simple but powerful question is foundational and it’s the one most people skip.

As Jim Collins recounts in Good to Great, Admiral Jim Stockdale survived eight brutal years as a POW during the Vietnam War. When asked who didn’t make it out, he replied “Oh, that’s easy. The optimists.”

Those who kept pinning their hopes on timelines “We’ll be out by Christmas!” were crushed when their timelines failed. The ones who survived, Stockdale said, held two opposing truths at once:

1. They never lost faith that they would prevail in the end.

2. They faced the brutal facts of their current reality.

This has become known as the Stockdale Paradox and it’s a mindset every dreamer needs.

Why Honesty Isn’t the Enemy of Hope

Dreaming doesn’t mean pretending.

Honesty is not cynicism. It's not pessimism. It’s your launchpad. Pretending that your six-figure student loans don’t exist, or that you can reinvent your career without acknowledging your five young kids at home, isn’t dreaming it’s denial.

True dreaming starts by owning the reality of your commitments, your challenges, your bank account, and your bandwidth.

You can’t escape your starting point but you can build from it. And when you do, your dreams become durable. They become worth chasing.

Beware the Basement Submarine

Culture loves the romanticized rebel the one who walks away from everything to “follow their passion.” Take John Mayer’s haunting ballad, Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967. A man, sick of his life, builds a submarine in his basement and sails away to Tokyo.

It’s whimsical. Inspiring. Creative. And also heartbreaking.

Because Walt had a wife. He had children. He didn't just chase a dream he left people behind to do it.

In songs and movies, this is called bravery. In real life, it’s often just abandonment.

That’s the version of dreaming too many of us are sold. Forget the bills. Forget the responsibilities. Forget the people who depend on you. Build the submarine. Sail away.

But real greatness doesn’t come from escapism. It comes from transformation without betrayal change that includes others, not excludes them.

What If There’s a Third Way?

We’ve come to believe there are only two options:

• Chase your dream and abandon your commitments

• Honor your commitments and resign to mediocrity

But what if that’s a false choice?

What if you can do both?

• What if you could dream bigger because you love your family not despite them?

• What if your day job wasn’t the obstacle to your dream, but the funding for its foundation?

• What if you could start small, sacrificially, and strategically building in the margins of today until the dream becomes your every day?

That third path is harder. It takes longer. It requires grit, planning, and humility. But it’s also the path that honors God, honors others, and actually has a chance to succeed.

How to Dream Realistically

1. Audit Your Reality.
How much time do you actually have? How much debt? What are your true priorities not just your passions?

2. Write Down the Dream.
Not the fantasy. The goal. What are you really trying to build, become, or do?

3. Count the Cost.
Jesus taught us to count the cost before building a tower (Luke 14:28). The same principle applies here. What will this dream require of you? What tradeoffs will it demand?

4. Build a Bridge, Not a Boat.
Don’t sail away from your life. Build from your life. Can you start your dream at 6 a.m.? On your lunch break? On weekends? Slow growth is still growth.

5. Include the People Who Matter.
Your spouse, your kids, your friends let them in. Ask for help. Invite them to dream with you. Don't make your dream a private escape. Make it a shared journey.

6. Hold Onto Faith, Not Fantasy.
Don’t believe the lie that faith means pretending problems don’t exist. Faith faces reality and moves forward anyway, trusting that God honors obedience and endurance (Galatians 6:9).

Start Today With Honesty

The world doesn’t need more basement submarines. It needs more people who are bold enough to dream and brave enough to do it honestly.

If you’re willing to confront your current reality, you’re already ahead of most.

If you can dream without denial and plan without panic, you’re walking the road that leads not just to success but to significance.

So be honest. Be faithful. Be brave.

Dream big with your eyes wide open.

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