Love Begins With Listening

We live in a world filled with noise, but starved for listening. Everyone wants to be heard, yet few know how to truly listen. If you've ever poured out your heart only to be met with glazed eyes or distracted fingers tapping a screen, you understand the sting. Yet, Scripture teaches that listening isn't just polite it’s a profound form of love.

I once took an online counseling course where I was instructed to simply listen during a practice session. No advice, no fixing just attentive presence. And yet, almost immediately, I found myself distracted by the reflection of my own face on the screen, preoccupied with how I looked rather than the person speaking. My attempts to recover nodding excessively, offering mechanical responses only highlighted how hard genuine listening really is.

Designed to Hear

God designed us as listeners. Before we were doers, we were hearers. Genesis 1 shows a world shaped by the voice of God: “And God said…” over and over again. Creation blossomed in response. We were meant to live by hearing the Word of our Creator.

But sin has corrupted our hearing. Adam and Eve heard God's command, but they listened to another voice. And we have followed suit. Today, we’re more prone to speak before we understand (Proverbs 18:2), or grow “dull of hearing” (Hebrews 5:11), more interested in broadcasting than receiving.

Listening is now a discipline one that reveals the posture of our hearts. It’s a form of humility, a way of laying down our agendas to truly see and know another. It’s why Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in Life Together, called listening our first act of service to others. He wrote, “We should listen with the ears of God that we may speak the Word of God.”

The Love Hidden in Listening

Listening may seem thankless. Often, people won’t return the gesture. You may share deeply with others only to be interrupted, misunderstood, or ignored. But even if no one listens to you in return, the act is still holy.

Listening is how we love. Romans 12:15 commands us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” You can’t do either without first hearing someone out. As Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” That drawing out begins with patient, humble, attentive listening.

According to a 2023 study by Pew Research, nearly 40% of adults report feeling lonely or misunderstood regularly. That number underscores a crucial truth: listening may be one of the most needed and healing gifts we can give.

The Example of Christ

God has always been a listening God. From Hagar in the desert to Hannah in her anguish, Scripture testifies that “the Lord hears” (Psalm 34:17). In the wilderness, at the well, from prison cells and battlefields, His ear was never too distant.

And then came Jesus listening in flesh. He heard not just words, but hearts. He listened to the questions behind questions, the cries masked by silence. With the woman at the well, with the rich young ruler, with lepers and outcasts. He listened deeply, seeing to the soul.

Even now, our Savior lives to intercede for us (Hebrews 7:25). Every sigh, every prayer, every word that stumbles from our lips. He hears them all. Because He listens, we can too.

Listening in a Distracted World

Listening doesn’t require a perfect environment or a counseling degree. But it does require intention. It means quieting our inner noise, setting aside our desire to fix, and resisting the urge to interrupt with our own stories.

Sometimes listening means giving someone the space to cry. Sometimes it means letting silence linger. And sometimes it means saying, “I hear you. That sounds really hard.”

Paul Tripp describes these vulnerable moments as “handling people’s fine china.” In listening, we cradle something delicate and sacred another person’s heart. We reflect our Father’s loving attention and help others feel seen, not just heard.

Practicing Holy Hearing

True listening starts with being heard by God. When we soak in His Word, pour out our hearts in prayer, and hear Him speak through Scripture, we are trained to listen like He does. Our ability to love others through listening grows as we remain rooted in the One who first listened to us.

So yes, our listening will be imperfect. There will be distractions, missteps, and missed cues. But let those failures humble us, not discourage us. They push us back to the only perfect Listener, who never misses a word, who never grows weary of our voices.

Let’s wear listening like love in humble dress. In a world where, as Ernest Hemingway once said, “Most people never listen,” we can stand out not through noise, but through stillness, presence, and attention.

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