This Isn’t My DIY Project

It may not be the first verse that comes to mind when thinking about marriage, but Philippians 1:6 holds a liberating truth for Christian wives. “I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
(Philippians 1:6)

Often quoted on coffee mugs and in greeting cards, this beloved verse speaks of God’s commitment to finish what He starts. But beyond individual encouragement, it offers a life-giving perspective for Christian wives tempted to take on their husband’s sanctification as their own project. In seasons of discouragement, discontent, or spiritual dryness within marriage, Philippians 1:6 reminds us: your husband’s soul is not your DIY project God is at work.

Confidence Beyond the Moment

Paul writes with striking assurance: “I am sure of this...” He doesn’t say “I hope” or “I’m praying” he says he’s confident that God, who began the good work in the Philippians, will carry it to completion.

As wives, we don’t always feel this kind of confidence, especially when our husband’s spiritual habits seem inconsistent or stagnant. When he’s more invested in his phone than in the Word, when family devotions are irregular, when his leadership feels lacking, it’s easy to respond with quiet criticism or internal frustration. We may even start to think: What can I do to fix this?

But that’s exactly the burden Philippians 1:6 lifts from our shoulders. God began the good work, and God will finish it. Sanctification is His domain.

Zooming Out on Sanctification

Paul’s view spans past, present, and future:

• Past: God began the good work in your husband when He saved him.

• Present: God is actively working in him now, even if the growth feels slow.

• Future: God will complete that work on the day of Christ Jesus.

Too often, we evaluate spiritual progress on a micro level today’s attitude, this week’s habits, last night’s conversation. But the Holy Spirit works on a divine timeline, often doing unseen heart work in seasons that feel stagnant.

Philippians 1:6 invites us to look beyond the moment and trust the process. What you see today is not the final version of your husband, because God is not finished yet.

Marriage Is Not a DIY Show

Marriage can often feel like a never-ending renovation project. There’s always something that needs fixing communication, spiritual leadership, time management. And if we’re not careful, we start to see our husbands like home improvement projects: rough around the edges, in need of some polishing, and in our hands to adjust.

But Paul’s words in Philippians 2 clarify how sanctification works. “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you...” (Philippians 2:12–13)

We’re called to “work out” what God is already working in. But that’s our salvation, not our husband’s. We can’t do his sanctification for him. We can encourage, support, and pray, but we can’t carry the weight of change. Only God can transform a heart.

This truth is freeing. Your marriage is not a spiritual fixer-upper, and your husband is not a DIY project in need of your constant evaluation. The God who saved him is actively shaping him and you can rest in that.

The Quiet Power of a Faithful Wife

Scripture does affirm that God often uses wives in the sanctification of their husbands. Peter writes. “...so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.”
(1 Peter 3:1)

Not by pressure. Not by lectures. Not by constant reminders. But by godly conduct. A gentle and quiet spirit often misunderstood as passive or silent is actually a powerful tool in God’s hands. It reflects a heart that trusts God more than her own efforts.

This doesn’t mean never speaking up or having honest conversations. But it does mean that our tone, timing, and trust matter. A wife who prays more than she critiques, who encourages more than she compares, and who models dependence on Christ will always have more lasting influence than the one who tries to play the Holy Spirit.

This Day and That Day

Paul says God will complete the work “at the day of Jesus Christ.” That may feel far off, especially when we’re longing for change now. We want spiritual growth today, not someday. But as we wait, something beautiful happens. God sanctifies us too.

Like Martin Luther reportedly said, “There are only two days in my calendar: this day and that Day.” As we live in this day waiting, trusting, praying we fix our eyes on that Day when Christ will make all things new.

In the waiting, God is shaping you. Where you once responded with nagging, He teaches gentleness. Where you once held bitterness, He cultivates forgiveness. While God works in your husband, He also works in you completing His good work in both.

Trusting the Master Builder

No wife wants to feel alone in desiring spiritual growth. But you are not alone in the work God Himself is working. He doesn’t abandon His projects. He doesn’t lose motivation. He’s the perfect Builder, and He always finishes what He starts.

So take heart. Rest your anxious thoughts in the hands of a sovereign, sanctifying God. Keep praying. Keep loving. Keep trusting. And let the promise of Philippians 1:6 anchor your hope.

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