Overcoming the Desire for Praise

There is a quiet ache many faithful Christians carry. You serve in church. You show up. You give your time. You pray. You lead. You sacrifice.

And somewhere beneath the surface, a longing whispers: Did anyone notice? Did it matter? Am I valued?

Then comes the second whisper the one that stings: This isn’t holy. Why do I need to be seen?

If you have ever wrestled with the desire for praise, you are not alone. The tension feels confusing because Scripture seems to pull us in two directions at once.

On one hand, Paul says in Galatians 1:10 that if we seek to please man, we cannot be servants of Christ. On the other hand, he says in 1 Corinthians 10:33 that he tries to please everyone in everything he does.

Are we supposed to care about people’s approval or not?

Jesus deepens the paradox. In Matthew 6:1, He warns us not to practice righteousness “to be seen by them.” Yet in Matthew 5:16, He tells us to let our light shine before others so that they may see our good works.

Should we want to be seen or not?

And Proverbs 31:30 says a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Yet Romans 2:29 reminds us that what ultimately matters is praise from God, not from man.

So how do we put away our desire for praise without becoming cold, indifferent, or dismissive of encouragement?

The Paradox Is Real But Not Contradictory

These tensions are not mistakes in Scripture. They are invitations to deeper heart work.

The difference is not mainly in the action being seen, pleasing others, having a good reputation, receiving praise.

The difference is in the treasure of the heart.

Jesus consistently directs attention beneath behavior to motivation. The Pharisees gave, prayed, and fasted all good things but did so to be seen and admired. The problem was not visibility. It was craving applause as a substitute for God.

The human longing for affirmation is powerful. Research shows that social approval activates the same reward centers in the brain as financial gain. We are wired to feel the pleasure of being noticed.

But wiring is not destiny. The gospel reshapes what we live for.

The Real Question Beneath the Question

When you long for praise, ask gently:

What am I hoping this affirmation will give me?

Security?
Identity?
Proof that I matter?
Assurance that I am loved?

Those are not evil desires in themselves. They are deep human longings. The danger comes when we try to fill them with human approval rather than with God.

If the applause of others becomes your emotional oxygen, then silence feels like suffocation. Criticism feels like annihilation.

But if God Himself becomes your supreme treasure your security, your identity, your delight then human praise becomes secondary. Sweet, perhaps. Encouraging, yes. But not ultimate.

When Being Seen Is Right

Jesus does not forbid visibility. He forbids self-exaltation.

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Notice the direction of the glory.

If your service flows from a heart satisfied in God, then others seeing it can actually magnify Him. Your joy in God becomes visible, and He gets the credit.

But if your service is secretly bargaining for affirmation, then the same action becomes self-centered.

The external deed may look identical. The internal treasure makes all the difference.

Pleasing People Without People-Pleasing

Paul says he does not seek the approval of man and also that he tries to please everyone.

The distinction is this: pleasing others out of love is different from manipulating others for validation.

If you alter your words or actions to avoid losing approval because you fear rejection more than you fear dishonoring God, then approval has become your master.

But if you thoughtfully consider others’ feelings, remove unnecessary offense, and seek their good so that they might see Christ more clearly, that is love.

One is driven by ego. The other by mission.

A Good Reputation or a Dangerous One?

Proverbs says a good name is better than riches. Yet Jesus warns that when everyone speaks well of you, something may be wrong.

If your reputation rests on compromise, cowardice, or watered-down faith, then universal praise is a warning sign.

But if your reputation reflects integrity, humility, and Christlike character, that is something Scripture commends.

Again, the question is: what are you treasuring?

Are you guarding your reputation to protect your ego?

Or stewarding your reputation so that Christ is not dishonored?

Receiving Praise Without Feeding Pride

What about when someone sincerely encourages you?

Should you deflect it? Reject it? Feel guilty?

Proverbs 31:30 says a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. God is not opposed to encouragement. In fact, 1 Thessalonians 5:11 commands believers to build one another up.

The key is what happens in your heart when praise comes.

If praise inflates your sense of self-importance, that reveals pride.

If praise becomes a quiet opportunity to thank God for His grace in you, it becomes worship.

When someone affirms your ministry, you can say in your heart: Lord, any good they see is Your work in me.

Romans 2:29 reminds us that what ultimately matters is God’s approval. Human praise is fragile. It fluctuates. It fades. But God’s “Well done” endures forever.

Putting the Desire for Praise to Death

So how do you actually weaken the craving for recognition?

You don’t kill it by shaming yourself.

You kill it by feeding a greater satisfaction.

Devote yourself to knowing God not merely knowing about Him, but enjoying Him. Meditate on who He is for you in Christ: your Savior, your Shepherd, your Father, your King.

The more deeply you are convinced that you are seen, known, and delighted in by God, the less desperate you will be for others to confirm your worth.

Studies show that people with a secure sense of identity are less dependent on external validation. Spiritually, the same principle applies. When your identity is anchored in Christ, praise becomes a gift not a necessity.

Ask yourself daily:

Is God enough for me today?
Is His smile sufficient?
Is His approval weightier than applause?

Over time, as He becomes sweeter to you than recognition ever was, your need to be seen will loosen its grip.

You will still appreciate encouragement. You will still be grateful when others affirm your work. But your joy will not rise and fall with their words.

Because you will have found something better.

If this reflection encouraged you, consider sharing it with someone who quietly wrestles with the need for approval or subscribe to our newsletter for more Christ-centered encouragement.