My Son, Offer Me Your Heart

"My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways." Proverbs 23:26

Parenting, when rightly understood, is a profound invitation not merely to mold behavior but to shape hearts. This short proverb, tucked between warnings about immorality and recklessness, captures the essence of godly fatherhood and motherhood. It reminds us that what we’re truly after is not surface-level obedience but deep, heart-level trust and imitation. We’re not raising robots; we’re raising worshipers.

A Two-Way Exchange

This verse holds two parallel pleas from a parent to a child: "Give me your heart" and "Let your eyes observe my ways." It describes a sacred exchange. The parent seeks the child’s heart, and in turn, the child is invited to joyfully observe and imitate the parent's life. This mutual exchange is not transactional; it’s transformational. And when embraced consistently, it redefines what success in parenting looks like.

More Than Obedience

In our day-to-day efforts to raise children, it’s easy to settle for managing behavior. Fussing, whining, bickering, or disobedience demands our attention and rightly so. Scripture calls us to discipline and instruction (Ephesians 6:4). But if our focus is only on compliance, we may miss the greater goal. Our ultimate aim is to shape hearts that love what is good, not just obey rules out of fear or habit.

Ask yourself:

• When you set boundaries, are you aiming for heart-level trust or just peace and quiet?

• When you teach God’s Word, are you reaching for their affection or simply passing on information?

• When you say no to their requests, do they sense love in your reasoning, or just authority?

The most impactful discipline and instruction will always be rooted in this deeper pursuit. My son, give me your heart.

A Model Worth Imitating

But the proverb doesn’t stop there. It also invites the child to watch closely not just to see, but to delight in the parent’s ways. The original Hebrew implies pleasure and admiration, not just passive observation.

What does this mean practically? It means our children are not only listening to what we say, but they are feeling how we say it, watching how we live it, and absorbing what we prioritize. Your tone, your patience, your joy, your consistency these are the silent sermons that linger longest.

Statistics show that children are far more likely to internalize faith values when they witness consistent, lived-out faith in their parents. A 2020 Barna study found that over 58% of young adults who remain active in their faith into adulthood point to seeing genuine spiritual practices modeled at home things like prayer, confession, Scripture reading, and forgiveness. In contrast, households where faith was primarily enforced but not lived saw much lower retention.

So ask:

• Are my daily actions worth imitating?

• Is the way I handle stress, disagreement, or correction something I’d want my child to carry into adulthood?

• Would my children describe my faith as consistent or conditional?

Our “ways” our actual lived-out habits, responses, and rhythms are the curriculum our children study most.

Tone Matters

In your parenting, tone is not secondary. It's central. Scripture repeatedly points us to how God disciplines His people: with compassion, patience, and tenderness (Psalm 103:13-14). We are to do the same.

When we correct in anger, instruct in sarcasm, or discipline with harshness, we may gain compliance but lose connection. On the other hand, when our tone mirrors the gentleness of Christ, even hard truths are easier to receive. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that “a soft answer turns away wrath,” and that applies just as much at the dinner table as it does in public discourse.

Practicing for a Greater Giving

Ultimately, this exchange of heart and imitation isn’t the end goal it’s a rehearsal for something greater. When our children entrust their hearts to us, and gladly imitate our ways, they are learning how to entrust their hearts to God and follow His ways.

Our role, then, is to serve as representatives of the Father. As we win their hearts, we prepare them to give their hearts to the One who created them. As they observe our faithfulness, we point them to the Faithful One. Jesus said, “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me” (Mark 9:37). That’s not symbolic it’s sacred. Parenting done in His name is a way of welcoming Christ Himself.

So what happens when your child gives you their heart in the name of Jesus? You receive something beautiful their trust, their affection, their willingness to be led and, by grace, so does God. You are not a stopping point. You are a steward, pointing their hearts heavenward.

Living the Proverb Daily

The wisdom of Proverbs 23:26 isn’t confined to moments of discipline or instruction. It’s a daily call:

• Over breakfast, when you choose patience instead of hurry.

• In conflict, when you pause to listen before you correct.

• During bedtime prayers, when you share not just rules, but grace.

Each moment becomes an invitation: "Give me your heart. Watch how I live." Not perfectly but intentionally.

In a world pulling at our children from every direction, we can become safe harbors not because we demand perfection, but because we embody direction. Direction toward a God who is slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, and worthy of every heart.

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