Raised by the Ones We Raise

We often imagine adulthood as a finish line grow up, get married, have children, and then settle into maturity. But if we’re honest, parenting is less a destination and more a beginning. The moment a child enters your life, so begins a curriculum uniquely designed for your growth.

It turns out, children don’t just need raising. They raise us, too.

When Maturity Begins

Somewhere in the cultural imagination, there’s an assumption: mature people have children. But the reality is often the reverse. You get married, grow up a little. You have children and grow up a lot. The home becomes a seminary, a workshop, a sanctifying crucible where your character, patience, and priorities are tested and transformed.

James 1:2–4 speaks directly into the classroom of the Christian parent: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds... that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Trials, especially those found in the daily life of parenting, are not interruptions to our growth they are the growth.

Parenting is the school where tests come before the lessons, and the lab exercises are loud, messy, unpredictable, and beautiful.

Lessons You Can’t Get from a Book

A parent taught only by theory is like a doctor who’s never seen a patient. Knowledge matters, but so does firsthand experience and parenting provides plenty of that.

Children teach us that life is brief. Time accelerates with age, and nothing makes it feel more rapid than watching a newborn become a graduate in what feels like a breath. Psalm 90:12 instructs, “Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Parenting confronts us with that numbering daily. It presses us to prioritize, to let go of distractions, to cherish fleeting moments that will never come again.

Children also teach us the importance of grace. Every parent has experienced their insufficiency and it is precisely there, at the end of ourselves, that we find God’s promise: “God is able to make all grace abound to you” (2 Corinthians 9:8). Parenting unearths the daily need for enabling grace not just for our children’s sake, but for our own.

And in the most unexpected ways, our children mirror back to us our own nature both the good and the bad. That sharp tone you heard from your five-year-old? Where did she learn it? Children are living mirrors, often reflecting our own attitudes, habits, and values. Romans 3:10 reminds us, “None is righteous, no, not one.” That includes parents.

But it also includes children, and parenting without a sober awareness of sin is like gardening without knowing about weeds. We don’t just manage behavior we shepherd hearts. And in the process, God is shepherding ours.

The Childlike Kingdom

Jesus said, “Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it” (Mark 10:15). Children model trust, wonder, joy, and dependence. Watching them can teach us how to approach God with honesty, awe, and expectation.

Children laugh easily, forgive quickly, and love without calculation. In a world grown cynical, their simplicity is refreshing and instructive. Alert parents can learn to rediscover these sacred gifts, not just for parenting, but for living.

And when we fall short as we inevitably will our children often show us what it means to extend forgiveness. Don’t miss those moments. God uses their tender mercy to soften and humble us.

Not in Our Control

There’s a temptation to believe that good parenting guarantees good outcomes. But just as not every seed lands in fertile soil, not every child will follow the same path, even under the same roof. One moment you’re guiding them like arrows; the next, they fly in unexpected directions.

Like bottle rockets launched from the same place and aimed the same way, some soar straight, others spiral, and a few never leave the ground. Not all variables are within our control and that’s not failure; it’s reality. Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord,” but it doesn’t say they are duplicates of their parents.

Recognizing this truth liberates us from crushing guilt or misplaced pride. Our job is to aim faithfully, not to control outcomes. We plant, we water but God gives the growth (1 Corinthians 3:6).

Embracing the School of Home

The home isn’t just a nursery or a kitchen it’s a divine classroom. When we embrace it as such, we stop merely trying to raise children and begin recognizing how God is raising us through them.

Ask yourself regularly, “How is God refining me through my children?” It’s a humbling question, but a necessary one. In the small frustrations and the larger heartaches, God is tilling the soil of our hearts. He’s pulling up weeds of selfishness, planting seeds of patience, and nurturing the fruit of the Spirit.

Even the difficult moments become opportunities to grow in kindness, self-control, forgiveness, and hope. Our children are not just our responsibility; they are also God’s instruments for our sanctification.

As we parent, we are being parented by the Father who gives generously, disciplines lovingly, and never leaves us to walk this path alone.

So the next time you feel stretched, overwhelmed, or inadequate, remember: your home is not just a place where your children are being raised. It’s a holy ground where you are being grown.

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