Three Questions to Ask Before Making a Big Decision

Big decisions have a way of sneaking up on us, often arriving at the worst possible time when life is already complicated and full. The job offer that means relocating. The relationship that’s moving fast. The desire to leave everything behind for a fresh start somewhere new. Each option carries its own set of unknowns and risks, and the pressure to “get it right” can feel overwhelming.

For many Christians, this pressure is heightened by the belief that every decision must align perfectly with God’s will as though one wrong turn might derail His plan. And while seeking God’s will is right and good, sometimes our biggest struggle isn’t finding the perfect answer but learning to ask the right questions.

Jamie Carter, a certified life coach who has spent years helping people navigate major life transitions, believes that wisdom often begins with honest self-reflection. As she puts it, “Most of the time, God gives us freedom and that can be terrifying. The real work is learning to trust yourself, and trust that God’s not waiting to zap you for picking the wrong door.”

Here are the three questions Carter recommends asking before making a big decision questions grounded in biblical wisdom, designed to bring clarity in the middle of uncertainty.

1. What’s Driving This Decision Fear or Faith?

Our motives are often the most overlooked part of any decision. Are we choosing based on fear, or are we stepping forward in faith? Fear tends to shrink our world, keeping us trapped by what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. Faith, on the other hand, calls us to step into the unknown, trusting that God is bigger than our anxieties.

Fear often wears the disguise of "realism" or "playing it safe." But as Carter warns, “If you’re making a decision just to avoid pain, you’re probably not making the right one.” Scripture repeatedly reminds us that fear is not from God. 2 Timothy 1:7 declares, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

Faith isn’t blind recklessness; it’s trust in God’s sovereignty even when outcomes are uncertain. Sometimes, the wisest decision is the one that feels risky because it requires us to depend on God rather than ourselves.

2. Who Am I Becoming If I Say Yes or No?

Every decision shapes our character. Carter encourages looking beyond immediate benefits to ask, “Who will I become because of this choice?”

Is this decision cultivating the person God is calling you to be? Or is it just an escape from discomfort? This isn’t about having a perfect life plan, but about intentionality. Proverbs 4:26-27 counsels, “Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.”

In today’s world, social media makes it dangerously easy to confuse the applause of others with true success. But Carter reminds us that external validation is a poor guide. "At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with your choices."

Journaling, prayer, and honest conversations with trusted friends can help you discern whether you’re being led by godly purpose or simply following the path of least resistance.

3. Have I Invited Wise Voices Into This Process?

While independence may feel empowering, Scripture speaks often about the importance of community when making decisions. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Carter emphasizes the value of surrounding yourself with wise, godly counsel: friends, mentors, pastors people who care enough to challenge you and point you back to Christ. “God often speaks through people who know you well and aren’t afraid to tell you the truth,” she says.

Be careful, though: not all advice is created equal. Seek out those who have walked through both success and failure, who have experienced God’s grace through their own missteps. Carter notes, “Honestly, I trust people more if they’ve failed a few times. They know what it’s like to get it wrong and still find grace on the other side.”

Inviting others into your decision-making process doesn’t mean giving up responsibility; it’s recognizing that God often guides us through community, not isolation.

The Freedom of Trusting God

At the heart of big decisions lies a simple but profound truth: no choice will ever guarantee a perfect outcome. But as believers, we can rest in the assurance that God’s sovereignty isn’t fragile. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

The goal isn’t to avoid every mistake but to grow in trust and become more like Christ along the way. Carter sums it up beautifully: “God isn’t waiting for you to mess up. He’s inviting you to trust Him, even when you’re not sure what’s next.”

Before your next big decision, take time to ask: What’s driving me? Who am I becoming? Who’s walking with me? The answers won’t eliminate risk, but they will anchor your choices in faith, character, and wisdom.

And sometimes, as Carter quips, "Some decisions really are that simple like not texting your ex."

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