Is Spanking the Right Choice for Disciplining Children?

Few topics spark as much debate in parenting circles today as the question of spanking. Medical associations, psychologists, child advocacy groups, and concerned parents often unite in their opposition. The American Academy of Pediatrics, for example, warns that corporal punishment may have harmful side effects and limited effectiveness. Their concerns stem from valid fears discipline, poorly administered, can easily cross into abuse or emotional harm.

Yet, does the strong cultural pushback mean that all forms of spanking should be dismissed? Is there a way to practice physical discipline wisely, lovingly, and biblically?

Scripture suggests there is.

What Is Good Spanking?

Spanking, when done well, is not about frustration or control but correction rooted in love. It involves applying a predetermined, measured amount of physical discomfort in response to clear, willful defiance not accidental mistakes or childish immaturity. The goal is not punishment for punishment’s sake but correction that moves beyond behavior to shape the heart.

Several passages in Proverbs speak directly to this:

• “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24)

• “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15)

• “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.” (Proverbs 23:13–14)

Some question whether "the rod" refers to physical discipline or merely a metaphor for guidance. However, the plain reading of these passages, their pairing with verbal correction (Proverbs 29:15), and the acknowledgment that mere words often fail to bring about obedience (Proverbs 29:19) indicate that physical discipline has a place within biblical parenting.

Protected by Correction

Loving, thoughtful correction spanking included has been a means of protection and growth in countless families. Adults who experienced appropriate discipline often look back with gratitude, recognizing how it restrained harmful tendencies, cultivated respect for authority, and reinforced the consequences of actions.

One parent recalls, “I understood that there were consequences to my actions and attitudes and that there was a standard outside myself being upheld. Just as we are to fear the Lord, I had a measure of fear of my father, knowing he would lovingly discipline me when needed.” Another echoes, “Spanking helped me understand from an early age that obedience leads to joy, while disobedience leads to consequences.”

These testimonies illustrate a vital principle: the ultimate aim of correction is not control but freedom freedom from folly, selfishness, and future regret.

Six Principles for Wise Spanking

For spanking to serve its intended purpose and avoid harmful misuse, parents must proceed with great care. Here are six guiding principles:

1. Recognize God’s Use of the Rod. 

Scripture presents God Himself as a loving Father who disciplines His children not out of anger, but steadfast love (2 Samuel 7:14–15; Hebrews 12:6). Parental discipline reflects this divine example.

2. Model Submission to Correction. 

Children must see parents humbly accepting correction themselves. Confessing mistakes, repenting, and modeling accountability (even for minor things like a parking ticket) reinforces the lesson that everyone lives under authority.

3. Avoid Extremes. 

Parents err when they either overuse or neglect discipline. Wise correction is neither reactive nor absent but applied selectively typically for outright defiance and only for a limited season in a child's development.

4. Be Consistent and Clear. 

Like God’s warnings throughout Scripture, parental discipline should come with advance notice and clear expectations. Consistency not whim or emotional reaction is key to cultivating trust and understanding.

5. Establish Safe Boundaries. 

Good spanking should never harm. Limit strokes, avoid vulnerable body parts, never discipline in anger, and follow up with tenderness and reassurance. A child's dignity and safety must always be protected.

6. Use All the Tools of Parenting. 

Spanking should never be the only tool in a parent's toolbox. Loss of privileges, logical consequences, disapproving looks, affirmations, rewards, and verbal correction all play crucial roles. Over-reliance on spanking is not wise parenting.

The Goal: Peaceful Fruit of Righteousness

Hebrews 12:11 reminds us, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Effective discipline, including the wise use of spanking, serves the long-term goal of nurturing self-control, maturity, and respect for others.

Of course, discipline must always be surrounded by lavish affirmation. God Himself delights to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23), and so should we as parents. Correction alone, devoid of love and encouragement, leaves children insecure and embittered. But correction wrapped in affirmation strengthens both character and relationship.

A Loving Responsibility

In a culture quick to reject all forms of corporal punishment, Christian parents face a weighty responsibility. Spanking must never be wielded carelessly, in anger, or without the broader context of love, affirmation, and guidance. Yet, done wisely, it can serve as one important tool in shaping children to grow in righteousness and flourish in life.

The goal isn’t simply obedience it’s preparing children to thrive under God's authority, free from the bondage of self-will, and equipped to bless others.

Share it with another parent or subscribe to our newsletter for more biblically grounded parenting insights.