Surrender Yourself in Hope

Raising children, especially several at once, may be one of the most efficient ways to learn how to die. Not physically, of course but in all the meaningful, spiritual ways Christ calls His disciples to embrace. Fatherhood, at its core, is not merely about leadership or provision. It is about laying down your life, again and again, for the eternal good of another.

And for the faithful father, that death is not in vain. As author Anthony Esolen puts it, the good father “throws himself away in hope.” He gives himself not just to the demands of today’s needs but to a future he may never see a future where his children outshine his name, and his life, perhaps forgotten, still echoes in their goodness.

Dying Into Life

Jesus said it plainly “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit” (John 12:24). This is not just a truth for martyrs or missionaries. It is for parents. It is for fathers who let go of their evening plans to wrestle with toddlers. It is for men who give up rest for responsibility, silence for their children’s questions, and their own desires for the sake of a family entrusted to them by God.

The life of a father is full of goodbyes to former comforts free time, sleep, solitude, hobbies. But each of these little deaths is a seed planted in faith. Jesus promises that if it dies, it bears fruit. And not just fruit in this life, but eternal harvest in the next.

This is not punishment it is participation. Fathers are invited into the same paradox that defines the gospel itself: life through death. Jesus lived, died, and rose. And we, His followers, follow Him by dying daily especially in our homes.

The Lonely Seed

“He remains alone,” Jesus said. The man who refuses to die remains alone. There’s a peculiar sorrow in the life that clings to itself. Self-preservation turns to isolation. Time hoarded becomes stale. Dreams guarded at all costs become hollow. The man who will not die to himself will find, eventually, that he has only himself and little else.

The world may celebrate such self-focus, but it’s a lie. A 2023 Harvard University study on happiness spanning over 80 years concluded that meaningful relationships not success or freedom were the key to a fulfilled life. God has already told us this. His design for life is a life poured out.

The father who holds tightly to his own way ends up with a kingdom of dust. But the father who throws himself away in hope plants seeds of eternal joy in the soil of his children’s lives.

Bones That Speak

Scripture gives us another picture of this truth in the life of Joseph. Of all Joseph’s accomplishments, Hebrews highlights this “By faith Joseph, at the end of his life, made mention of the exodus and gave directions concerning his bones” (Hebrews 11:22).

Joseph wanted his bones taken to the Promised Land. He knew he wouldn’t see the promise himself but he believed. His bones, buried in faith, whispered hope to future generations. They said, “God will fulfill what He has promised.”

Fathers, our legacy is not just what we build, but what we bury in faith. As we die daily for our children not as codependents, but as leaders and examples we send our bones ahead of us into a better country. We sow in faith that our children will hunger more for Christ because of our sacrifices.

Like Joseph, may our lives be holy whispers that stir our children’s hearts to long more earnestly for the Redeemer. Even in death, we want to lead them to life.

Self-Denial as Self-Deposit

The upside-down wisdom of Scripture is that to give is to gain. “One gives freely, yet grows all the richer. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched” (Proverbs 11:24–25). This is the spiritual law written by the hand of the God who gave His only Son. He will not be outgiven.

Die now, and you’ll live more fully. Give now, and you’ll be enriched. Water others, and you’ll be watered. This is not karma it is covenant. God has tied blessing to generosity, life to sacrifice, abundance to surrender. Not always immediately. Not always tangibly. But always certainly.

This is the path of every Christlike father. To die to himself, trusting that from these costly deaths will rise a harvest of righteousness in his home, his church, and his legacy.

The Promise After Death

There is no glamour in these daily deaths. Often, no thanks. But the promise stands “Die to this world and you will blossom in Day unending.” Fathers, don’t protect your life give it away. Lay it down for your family. Lay it down for your church. Lay it down for Christ. Let your love be a legacy of hope, a seed that breaks the soil long after you're gone.

One day, perhaps long after you’re remembered, your spiritual descendants will rise, and people may say, “He was a good man but his children are better.” And heaven will echo the approval “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

If this blessed death sounds like the life you long for, share this with a friend or subscribe to our newsletter for more gospel truths for the everyday moments.