Understanding the Difference Between Good and Bad People-Pleasing

People-pleasing is a common struggle that can easily lead us into bondage if not approached with discernment. John Piper offers clarity on this issue by distinguishing between good and bad forms of people-pleasing, rooted in scriptural guidance.

At its core, bad people-pleasing stems from a desire to avoid criticism or rejection, where we prioritize human approval over God’s will. As seen in Galatians 1:10, Paul warns that seeking to please others above God disqualifies us from fully serving Christ. When our actions are driven by fear of man, we compromise our integrity and mission as followers of Christ.

On the other hand, good people-pleasing is rooted in love and service. Romans 15:2 and 1 Corinthians 10:32-33 encourage believers to please others for their benefit, seeking to build them up and lead them closer to salvation. This type of pleasing doesn’t seek personal gain but aims to reflect Christ's love and further God’s kingdom.

Piper emphasizes that to overcome the unhealthy need for approval, we must develop a bigger vision of God. Ed Welch, in his book When People Are Big and God Is Small, discusses how elevating God’s majesty in our hearts and minds diminishes the control other people’s opinions have over us. A secure identity in Christ is crucial; when we understand our worth as children of God, the opinions of others lose their grip on us. As 1 Corinthians 3:21 reminds us, we are heirs of everything through Christ far greater than human approval.

Finally, Piper encourages us to look toward our eternal reward. Jesus teaches in Matthew 5:11-12 that persecution and rejection for His sake lead to great rewards in heaven. Understanding this helps us rejoice in obedience, even when it leads to displeasing others.

By embracing these principles, we can break free from the unhealthy need for approval and instead live in joyful obedience to God, loving others without being controlled by their opinions.

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