Who You Are Begins With Him

She didn’t want to lose herself. That’s what held her back. When invited to follow Jesus, she faced a moment of decision but the cost felt too high. “If anyone would come after me,” she read, “let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). She understood that following Jesus wasn’t just a new routine or belief system it was a death. And she feared what might die.

What if she lost the things that made her her? Her humor, her hobbies, her dreams, her edge? What if following Jesus made her… dull?

Many feel the same. In a culture that tells us to chase authenticity, express ourselves, and curate an identity that’s completely our own, the call to deny yourself sounds like betrayal. But what if that call isn’t a loss at all what if it’s the only way to truly become who we are?

The Illusion of the Self-Made Self

From early on, we’re told to define ourselves to be unique, find our voice, and chart our own path. Social media tempts us to build a curated version of our life, brick by brick, like a modern-day Tower of Babel (Genesis 11:4). We form an identity through jobs, clothing, causes, preferences, aesthetics, even pain. And slowly, we convince ourselves that we’ve made ourselves.

But we didn’t. We can’t.

As C.S. Lewis wrote, “It is no good trying to be ‘myself’ without Him… What I so proudly call ‘Myself’ becomes merely the meeting place for trains of events which I never started and which I cannot stop.”

In truth, every one of us is already shaped by forces outside ourselves our families, our culture, our fears, our desires. Without God, we’re not becoming more ourselves; we’re becoming more of what our environment has programmed us to be. We chase freedom and end up enslaved to people’s approval, to habits we can’t shake, to lies we tell ourselves to survive.

You Were Never Meant to Go Alone

From the beginning, humanity was made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). That means your identity is not something you create it’s something you receive. You were made to reflect, not invent; to shine, not burn.

Like the moon without the sun, we are cold and dark without our Creator. But when we return to Him, we catch fire with borrowed light.

Cut off from God, we don’t flourish we fragment. The farther we run from Him, the more distorted we become. Paul describes this in Romans 1:21–25, where those who “exchanged the glory of the immortal God” for lesser things were given over to what they worshiped and in doing so, they lost themselves.

The self apart from God doesn’t grow deeper; it grows duller.

Death That Brings Life

So what does Jesus mean when He says, “Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:24)?

He means that trying to build your identity apart from Him will only leave you empty. But if you lay it down if you die to the self you’ve been clinging to you’ll receive a new identity, one that’s eternal, whole, and glorious.

Paul puts it plainly in Colossians 3:3: “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”

To follow Christ is not to lose your personality it’s to finally become the person God made you to be. Some parts of you will fall away, because they were never meant to stay. Other parts will be refined, renewed, even multiplied. You’ll discover gifts you didn’t know you had. You’ll feel passions that once seemed distant come alive in deeper, truer ways.

You may even find joy in things you used to mock worship, fellowship, servanthood because God is not flattening you; He’s freeing you.

The Kingdom of Color and Song

Heaven isn’t beige. It’s not a colorless place filled with rule-followers and cookie-cutter personalities. It is a kingdom of wildflowers, a symphony of diversity, a choir where each voice brings its own sound.

Revelation 5:11–12 shows us a vision of worship where myriads of people lift their voices in harmony, not in unison. 1 Corinthians 12 reminds us that we are one body with many parts each part distinct and vital.

When you die to yourself, you are not erased you are remade. You are knit into something eternal. You find your place in the orchestra of God’s people, adding your voice to the eternal song.

You Will Still Be You

You won’t lose your laugh. You won’t lose your creativity or your edge or your sense of humor. But those things won’t define you anymore they’ll be set free. You’ll no longer need to perform. No longer need to prove yourself. No longer need to protect your fragile sense of identity.

Because your identity will be in Christ, you’ll be more secure and more you than you’ve ever been.

Paul writes in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” This is not annihilation it’s transformation. Christ in you doesn’t erase your personality; He radiates through it.

Come and Die… to Live

Jesus calls you to come and die but only so that you can truly live.

You will not be less yourself with Him you will be more. You won’t lose what makes you beautiful you’ll lose what makes you broken. And what is good and lovely and true in you will rise again, baptized in His grace.

So step into the river. Let the old you be washed away. And on the other side, you’ll find the truest version of yourself the one hidden with Christ, waiting to shine.

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