Will Singleness Always Feel This Hard?

What if the deepest ache in your heart is one that God never intends to remove in this life?

For some, it’s the ache of chronic illness. For others, it’s the grief of childlessness. And for many more than we often realize it’s the ache of lifelong singleness. Not by choice, not because of a fear of commitment, but simply because God hasn’t brought the right person, and time keeps marching on.

To the 43-year-old woman who wrote in, sharing her story and her sorrow: you are not alone. Your question echoes the unspoken fears of countless Christian singles especially as the years stretch on and the possibility of marriage feels more like a dream than a promise.

You asked if you'll carry the grief of your singleness into eternity, like Jephthah’s daughter in Judges 11, who mourned that she would never know the joys of marriage or motherhood. You asked if Matthew 22:30, where Jesus says there is no marriage in the resurrection, means your ache will be permanent.

The answer, by God’s grace, is no. You may suffer singleness for a season even a long one but you will not suffer it forever.

Our Broken World, Our Good Desires

First, let’s say this clearly: your desires are good. Marriage, intimacy, and parenthood are good gifts from a good God. You were designed to desire them, and it's not wrong to long for what is beautiful and God-ordained.

But we live in a world deeply marred by sin and futility. As Romans 8:20–23 says, the entire creation including our bodies and longings has been “subjected to futility,” groaning for redemption. And in that groaning, we experience unfulfilled dreams and lifelong disappointments.

That includes the grief of never marrying, never holding a child, never sharing life’s ordinary joys with a spouse. That is real pain, and God never asks us to pretend it isn't.

The Resurrected Body, the Fulfilled Heart

You fear that you will carry this ache into the next life, haunted by what you never experienced here. But the hope of the resurrection is not loss it’s gain. Jesus wasn’t diminishing marriage in Matthew 22:30. He was pointing to something greater.

Marriage, in Scripture, is a signpost pointing to the ultimate union between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31–32). In eternity, that union is not lost it’s fulfilled. The need for the signpost ends when the greater reality arrives.

In heaven, no one will be left lacking. You won’t be a second-class citizen of glory. You won’t watch others in eternal bliss while you grieve outside the feast. Your heart, your body, your soul every part of you will be made whole. Psalm 16:11 says, “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Not partial joy. Not ‘mostly satisfying’ joy. Fullness. Forever.

The God Who Meets Us in Our Ache

In the meantime, how do you live with unmet desires? How do you endure the silence, the absence, the loneliness?

You follow the path of the apostle Paul, who also walked through life single not because he lacked desire, but because he understood his calling. In 1 Corinthians 9, he affirms his right to take a wife like the other apostles, but he lays it down. Why? For the sake of the kingdom. And in that sacrifice, he writes, “Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10).

It’s okay to be sorrowful. It’s okay to weep, to grieve, to feel the pang of what might never be. But we do not weep as those without hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). We carry both grief and glory in our hands sorrow for now, joy forever.

God doesn’t minimize your ache. But He does promise to meet you in it. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” And in Isaiah 56:4–5, He gives a stunning promise to those who remain unmarried:

“To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters.”

God is not dismissing your desire. He is dignifying your devotion.

You Will Not Miss Out

One of the deepest fears in singleness is this. What if I miss out on the best things life has to offer?

But hear this: no faithful Christian will miss out on the best things God has for them. You may not experience marriage or parenthood on this side of eternity. But you will never be excluded from God’s best for you. In fact, Paul describes eternity not as consolation—but as a “weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17).

Nothing this world could have given you will compare to what awaits. And while that doesn't erase the ache today, it does anchor your heart in something unshakable.

A Life Not Wasted

Until then, your life is not on hold. Your singleness is not a waiting room for real life to begin. You are not less than married people. You are not behind. You are not forgotten.

You are seen. You are valuable. You are called.

There is so much fruit to bear in the life you do have. The people you love. The ministries you lead. The prayers you pray. The kingdom work you do. God is using you now, not once you hit some cultural milestone.

So no, sister you will not suffer your singleness forever. The ache may linger for a season. But your tears will be wiped away, your heart will be healed, and your joy will be full.

And when that day comes, you will not be haunted by what you missed. You will be overwhelmed by what you gained.

If this brought comfort to your soul, share it with someone walking a similar path or subscribe to our newsletter for more gospel-centered hope.