Wisdom Is Willing to Listen

We all know someone who makes every conversation feel like walking on glass someone so stubborn, defensive, or argumentative that trying to reason with them feels utterly pointless. C.S. Lewis called this person “X” in his essay The Trouble with ‘X’ the person in your life who is seemingly “beyond the reach of reason.” You’ve tried to explain. You’ve tried to be kind. You’ve tried to find common ground. But no matter what, “X” can’t or won’t listen.

Lewis wrote, “People are usually reasonable. All you’ve got to do is to make them see things in the right light.” And yet, we often find ourselves thinking, “He doesn’t know X.”

The tragedy isn’t just that “X” is wrong; it’s that “X” is unreachable. They’ve closed their ears, hardened their hearts, and isolated themselves from the very wisdom that could change them. But what’s even more sobering is that we might be someone else’s “X” the person they’ve stopped trying to reason with.

God’s Wisdom Looks Like This

In James 3:17, we read about a kind of wisdom that’s radically different from what the world celebrates. This wisdom is not flashy or self-congratulatory. It doesn’t shout over others. It’s not fueled by ego or ambition. Instead, James says, “The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

Notice the phrase open to reason. That’s one of the defining marks of true, heavenly wisdom. Other translations describe it as “easy to be entreated” or “willing to yield.” It describes someone who listens, considers, and adjusts when needed. It’s not passive or weak it’s humble and responsive.

This trait is vital not only for spiritual maturity but also for relational health. People who are open to reason are teachable. They’re able to grow. They can admit mistakes, apologize sincerely, and change course when truth or love demand it. In contrast, those who are closed off the “Xs” among us remain stuck, lonely, and eventually hardened.

A Life Closed Off

The Bible gives us many examples of people who were not open to reason. One is Nabal, whose name literally means “fool.” When confronted by David’s men, he responded with arrogant dismissal. His servants described him like this: “He is such a worthless man that one cannot speak to him” (1 Samuel 25:17). Nabal’s unwillingness to listen nearly cost him and his household their lives if not for the wisdom of his wife, Abigail.

Proverbs is full of warnings about such people:

• “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” (Proverbs 18:2).

• “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15).

• “Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 26:12).

Being ignorant isn’t the problem. All of us begin that way. The real danger is being unteachable resistant to truth, deaf to correction, and suspicious of feedback. That’s the kind of soil in which bitterness, foolishness, and pride grow.

Humility in the Age of Echo Chambers

Our current culture doesn’t make this virtue easy. In a world dominated by algorithm-driven news feeds, we’re often exposed only to perspectives we already agree with. Confidence is mistaken for clarity, volume for virtue, and dogmatism for conviction. But more information doesn’t mean more wisdom and repeating your opinions louder doesn’t make them truer.

Being “open to reason” doesn’t mean lacking conviction. Scripture calls us to hold fast to core doctrines of the faith. But it does mean we can distinguish between essentials and preferences. It means we’re willing to hear both sides of an issue before cementing our opinions. It means we can be corrected without feeling attacked. And it means we trust that God’s truth can stand up to scrutiny.

Paul urged the church not to be “carried about by every wind of doctrine” (Ephesians 4:14), but also not to become rigid and unyielding on secondary matters. The call is for conviction with humility, confidence with compassion.

What Does It Look Like?

So, how do you know if you’re growing in this kind of wisdom?

• When’s the last time you said, “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry” without excuse or deflection?

• Do you welcome feedback from trusted friends and family, even when it stings?

• Can you fairly articulate the position of someone you disagree with?

• Do you yield to others in matters of preference, or do you always insist on your own way?

• Are you open to reading perspectives that challenge your assumptions?

• Can others tell you “no” without fearing your reaction?

Being open to reason doesn’t only affect intellectual debates it shapes everyday family life. It looks like a husband who listens when his wife suggests a better approach to parenting. It looks like a parent who reconsiders a punishment after hearing their child’s side. It looks like a leader who lets others speak, even when he has the final say.

It also looks like a friend who doesn’t dominate every conversation. Like a church member who can disagree without causing division. Like a Christian who would rather be righteous than right.

Where It All Begins

True openness to reason begins with humility the kind that flows from knowing we’re not God. Only God is all-wise, all-knowing, and always right. We, by contrast, are fallible, limited, and prone to blind spots.

That’s why Proverbs 3:7 says, “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.” When we start with a deep reverence for God and an honest view of ourselves, we can listen, learn, and grow. That’s wisdom.

God is ready to meet us where we are whether we’re someone’s “X” or carrying wounds from one. If we confess our pride, ask for help, and commit to growing, He is eager to pour out wisdom “generously to all” (James 1:5).

So, can you still be persuaded? That may be one of the most important spiritual questions you can ask yourself. Because how you answer will shape your growth, your relationships, and your witness to the world.

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