You Still Need Real Friends

In an age of instant messages and countless “connections,” many of us still feel painfully alone. We scroll past hundreds of familiar faces, yet find ourselves starving for meaningful friendship. Why?

Because you were never made to walk through life alone. Not spiritually. Not emotionally. Not even practically. Deep, godly friendships are not optional luxuries they are essential to the life God created you to live.

C.S. Lewis called friendship “one of those things which give value to survival.” In other words, you can survive without friends but you can’t truly live without them.

Why Do We Neglect Friendship?

For many of us, friendship simply doesn’t make the schedule. It feels secondary to career, parenting, ministry, or personal goals. But what if that mindset is slowly draining the life out of everything else we do?

A husband without solid male friendships becomes emotionally isolated, leaving more burden on his wife than she was meant to carry. A mother without close friends becomes exhausted, trying to pour out without anyone pouring back in. Pastors burn out. Teachers lose joy. Leaders falter all because they try to walk alone.

As Drew Hunter wisely notes, “Friendship is one of the most important but least thought about aspects of life.”

And that’s the problem. We undervalue it until we desperately need it.

Jesus Didn’t Walk Alone Why Should You?

Jesus, the Son of God, needed no one yet chose to live among friends. For three years, He poured into a handful of men. He taught them, laughed with them, corrected them, and called them friends (John 15:15).

Yes, He faced the cross alone but He walked the rest of His journey with others. That wasn’t weakness. It was wisdom.

If the Savior of the world didn’t isolate Himself, what makes us think we should?

Friendship Isn’t Required It’s Transformational

Friendship is peculiar. Unlike marriage or family, it’s not required by nature. That’s why we often neglect it. It doesn’t pay bills or raise kids. But it enriches every part of life.

Lewis wrote that friendship “raises us almost above humanity.” It’s not born out of necessity it’s born out of delight. It’s the laughter in the mundane, the shoulder in sorrow, the push when we’re weary.

You might survive without it. But you’ll miss out on some of the deepest joy and strength God designed for you to experience.

Seeing More of God Through Others

Christian friendship isn’t about surface-level companionship. It’s about seeing more of God together.

Every believer has a unique angle on God’s glory. As we share our journeys, struggles, and revelations, we expand our vision of who God is. Your friend might see His faithfulness in a way you’ve forgotten. You might see His grace in their growth. It’s not just support it’s sanctification.

Lewis explained this beautifully “The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall all have.”

This is why God calls a people to Himself not just individuals. There are sides of Christ you will only glimpse in the company of others.

Friends Push You Toward God’s Purpose

Beyond seeing more of God, friendship helps you do more for God.

Think back to your most defining moments victories, risks, breakthroughs. Chances are, friends were there. They encouraged you when you wanted to quit. They believed when you doubted. They challenged you to grow.

Jesus didn’t send His disciples out one by one. He sent them in pairs (Mark 6:7). Why? Because courage grows in community. The enemy’s attacks lose power when you’re not alone.

The truth is, we were never meant to fight sin, face suffering, or carry purpose solo. Good friends become mirrors, guards, cheerleaders, and anchors. Often, the greatest work of your life will come in partnership with others.

Real Friends Don’t Focus on Friendship

Here’s the twist friendship isn’t found by seeking friendship.

As Lewis put it “Lovers are face to face. Friends are side by side, absorbed in a common pursuit.”

In other words, real friendship happens when people chase something bigger together. Christian friends rarely sit around talking about their friendship. They talk about Christ, purpose, Scripture, ministry, and life. And in doing so, friendship is born.

If you’re longing for deeper friendships, don’t start with small talk start with mission. Get involved in church. Join a Bible study. Volunteer somewhere uncomfortable. Say yes to spiritual conversations. Take risks for the kingdom and see who’s running beside you.

Because the best friendships are forged in the fire of shared calling.

Don’t Settle for Isolation

In a world that prizes independence, God invites you into intimacy not just with Him, but with His people.

He made you for more than survival. He made you for life together. A life where iron sharpens iron, burdens are shared, sins are confessed, prayers are spoken aloud, and joy is multiplied.

And it all begins with something simple: showing up. Reaching out. Pursuing something eternal with someone beside you.

Don’t wait until crisis forces you to find friends. Build those friendships now and let them lift you higher, closer, and further than you could ever go alone.

If this stirred your heart, share it with someone you trust or subscribe to our newsletter for weekly encouragement to help you walk with God and others more deeply.