Marriage is a beautiful journey, an ongoing dance of give and take, and a partnership built on love, respect, and mutual support. However, like any journey, it can have its fair share of pitfalls that if not carefully avoided, might lead to discord and distress. Here are five common missteps that can strain any marriage:
1. Taking Each Other For Granted
Neglect is an easy trap to fall into. Life’s demands often lead us to take our spouses for granted. Your partner likely contributes in numerous ways that may go unnoticed or unacknowledged. Neglecting to recognize their efforts can send a signal that their contributions are unappreciated. Combat this by actively participating in household responsibilities, or by small gestures of appreciation like a thank-you note or planning a spontaneous date night. Remember, the attentiveness you showed during your early days of dating should not wane as the years pass.
2. Honesty is the Best Policy
Dishonesty, even in small things, can create wide chasms in a relationship. Covering up a mistake with a lie, even if it seems easier in the moment, only complicates matters. Each lie tends to lead to another, creating a labyrinth of deceit from which it’s hard to escape. Honesty might be challenging, but it preserves trust, which is the bedrock of a strong marriage.
3. Accepting Instead of Altering
Many enter marriage with the hope or intention of changing their spouse. However, the only changes we can truly make are to ourselves. Attempting to change your partner can lead to resistance and resentment. Focus instead on changing your own attitudes and behaviors. Trust in God’s timing and methods to work any changes that might be necessary in your partner.
4. Banish the ‘D’ Word
Divorce should never be used as a threat or bargaining tool in arguments. Mentioning divorce in heated moments can plant seeds of insecurity and instability within the relationship. Remove it from your vocabulary entirely to ensure that both partners feel secure in the commitment you have made to each other.
5. Communicate, Don’t Isolate
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior that can inflict significant emotional pain. It effectively shuts down communication, making resolution and reconciliation nearly impossible. Like warring nations that cut off diplomatic talks, couples who stop communicating block the path to peace. Keeping the lines of communication open, even during disagreements, is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Conclusion
While these five pitfalls are significant, they are by no means exhaustive. Every marriage will face its unique challenges. However, by avoiding these common mistakes, you can reduce strain and build a stronger, more loving relationship. Remember, marriage vows often speak to a lifetime partnership—”till death do us part”—and that commitment is worth every effort to maintain the unity and love you vowed to uphold on your wedding day.
